BEST QUOTES EVEA Thread

[Cpt. Volto]

Post Amazing, Funny, Disturbing, or just damn right fucking werid, chats and shit here:
Ex:

Commander Rimanah: THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE ILLEGAL
Commander Rimanah: That's what I kept telling myself when i started dating Anne
Commander Rimanah: she was 14
Commander Rimanah: I was much older.
Commander Rimanah: But she's 18 now.
Commander Rimanah: It's legal.
Commander Rimanah:
Nipah: oh god
Nipah: time to move on then huh?
Cpt. Volto: So its not fun anymore?

Or:

Technician Nipah: Frank
Technician Nipah: i will tak a shit in your left nostrel
Technician Nipah: and force you to snort it
Mr. Gestapo: you can't because i'm trapped in cunt island
Technician Nipah: and then make you swallo my poo as it goes down the front of your throat
Mr. Gestapo: that's quite graphic
Technician Nipah: and then
Technician Nipah: as it reaches and passes your mouth
Technician Nipah: you will get a bitter "poo" taste in the back of your tounge
Mr. Gestapo: ew
Technician Nipah aquires shades and puts them on with one hand
Technician Nipah: Deal w/ it.
Mr. Gestapo: Oh! I've got a better idea.
Technician Nipah: please share
Mr. Gestapo: Why don't I break your fucking spine with a shovel so you can shit in your own nostril while I force you to swallow your own shit before I take a massive piss on you and set you on fire (my piss is flammable)
Cpt. Volto: Hey guys! I was Afk, whats going on it her--
Cpt. Volto: . . .
Cpt. Volto: Ok, I'll leave now.
Mr. Gestapo: LOL

[Nipah]

4:36 PM - Mr. Gestapo: also brock earley might run into badger at some point
4:36 PM - Cpt. Volto: Yup
4:36 PM - Mr. Gestapo: dunno
4:36 PM - Cpt. Volto: I will
4:36 PM - Cpt. Volto: In time
4:36 PM - Cpt. Volto: And we will be
4:36 PM - Cpt. Volto: UNSTOPABLE
4:37 PM - Nipah: boyfriends?
4:37 PM - Nipah: oh
4:37 PM - Nipah: that too
4:37 PM - Nipah: well i guess both of those could work

4:38 PM - Nipah: that cat
4:38 PM - Nipah: is probably dead by now
4:38 PM - Commander Rimanah: ROFL
4:38 PM - Mr. Gestapo: yes
4:38 PM - Mr. Gestapo: mal ate him
4:38 PM - Commander Rimanah: Well.
4:38 PM - Commander Rimanah: Cats are delicious in deep space.
4:38 PM - Commander Rimanah: When there's nothing else.
4:38 PM - Mr. Gestapo: by mal i mean my dog
4:38 PM - Mr. Gestapo: gtfo

[Cpt. Volto]

Cpt. Volto: I'm good anytime.
Director Ari Saberlin: Yeah, I bet you are.
Director Ari Saberlin: Slut.
Cpt. Volto: Bitch.
Director Ari Saberlin: Skank.
Director Ari Saberlin: Prostitute.
Director Ari Saberlin: Street Walker.
Director Ari Saberlin: Harlot.
Director Ari Saberlin: Whore.
Director Ari Saberlin: Hoe.
Cpt. Volto: Shut up and back under my desk.
Director Ari Saberlin: Cool story brah.
NipeR: ok!
NipeR: i like how after volto's comment saberlin went to "busy" hehehe.

NipeR: ARE YOU READY?
Director Ari Saberlin: And yes Nipah, we're ready.
NipeR: FO?
Director Ari Saberlin: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SEND ME THE LINK
NipeR: HALO REACH?
NipeR was kicked by Director Ari Saberlin.

[Cpt. Volto]

Nipah: my brother all raged face
Nipah: he so mad bro
Cpt. Volto: Lol
Cpt. Volto: why?
Nipah: i destroyed him in an arguement
Nipah: he was making fun of me using ear buds
Nipah: and a dumb arguement about that cat
Nipah: and i was like
Nipah: If the cat did that, then our dog is a porn star.
Nipah: he said she was
Nipah: and i was like
Nipah: oh god
Nipah: you know how?
Nipah: you watched it?
Nipah: did you search it too?
Nipah: bet you fapped
Nipah: he got mad and went silent
Cpt. Volto: LOL

[Nipah]

Nipah: if you do that
Nipah: i will have your babies
Nipah: and owe you big shit
Cpt. Volto: DO NOT WANT
Nipah: ATTEMPTING TO GIVE A FUCK
Nipah: ERROR 404: FUCK NOT FOUND
Cpt. Volto: LOL
Nipah: END OF LINE

WARNING! RECREATION OF A QUOTE A WHILE BACK OF WHICH I LOST!!!

Frank Wellington: Fuck, brb. I spilled my tea.
Niper: use a crumpet to soak it up with.
Frank Wellington: Hey, that's racist.
Niper: hell yes it is.

Chancellor Adam Sutler: Yes.
Chancellor Adam Sutler: I love seeing you on your knees.
Mr. Gestapo: Gayest thing I've read all night.
Oblivious Tank Welder #6823: LMAO

[Mr. Gestapo]

Mr. Gestapo: COOL STAWRY BRAH
Cpt. Volto (Admin): Bye Faggots
Cpt. Volto (Admin) left chat.
Director Ari Saberlin: I'm not sure whether I want to kill you all.
Mr. Gestapo: well that was quite a breakthrough
Director Ari Saberlin: Or invite you all to dinner.
Director Ari Saberlin: Or both.
Mr. Gestapo: maybe we could go to a strip club
Mr. Gestapo: and we could 'accidentally' kill a hooker
Director Ari Saberlin: Only if you're the one stripping.
Mr. Gestapo: posted.
Director Ari Saberlin: LOL

[Nipah]

That's hot Frank.

[Director Ari Saberlin]

Cpt. Volto Earley: When I was young, My asophagus (Or however the fuck its spelled) Wasn't completly grown, so I would get little splashes of stomach acid htting my throat
Cpt. Volto Earley: Yes
Brg. Ari Saberlin: I see.
Cpt. Volto Earley: And I have been wrking on it
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Maybe that's why your voice is fucked up.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: MAYBE IT IS PERMANENTLY DAMAGED
Cpt. Volto Earley: I'm eating Better foods, and am starting to walk my dog every night
Cpt. Volto Earley: ...
Brg. Ari Saberlin: So you're stuck sounding like a little kid FOREVER.
Cpt. Volto Earley: I fucking hate you

[Mr. Gestapo]

When I was young, My asophagus (Or however the fuck its spelled) Wasn't completly grown, so I would get little splashes of stomach acid htting my throat

SABERLIN, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS BULLSHIT LEVEL?

[Director Ari Saberlin]

When I was young, My asophagus (Or however the fuck its spelled) Wasn't completly grown, so I would get little splashes of stomach acid htting my throat

SABERLIN, WHAT DOES THE SCOUTER SAY ABOUT HIS BULLSHIT LEVEL?

[Cpt. Volto]

Brg. Ari Saberlin: It's time.
Cpt. Volto Earley: Ugh
Cpt. Volto Earley: What now?
Brg. Ari Saberlin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ri_bZcFszU
Cpt. Volto Earley: Whatever this show is
Cpt. Volto Earley: I want it Banned
Cpt. Volto Earley: Oh God
Cpt. Volto Earley: I do Hope its on FOX
Brg. Ari Saberlin: It's one of the best shows ever.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: No, it's British.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Misfits.
Cpt. Volto Earley: Never Heard of it
Brg. Ari Saberlin: It's like the British version of Heroes.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Except a fuck ton better.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: And less dramatic.
Cpt. Volto Earley: As would be expected
Cpt. Volto Earley: And By that
Cpt. Volto Earley: I mean you like it because it features homoerotic situations with Britsh men
Cpt. Volto Earley: Oh God!
Cpt. Volto Earley: Its perfect for you!
Brg. Ari Saberlin: You're just jealous because Frank chose me over you.
Cpt. Volto Earley: LOL
Cpt. Volto Earley: Posted
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Also, you have a week to tell me if you're dropping ZM for Gmod.
Cpt. Volto Earley: Hmm
Cpt. Volto Earley: Ok
Cpt. Volto Earley: Give me till mondays
Cpt. Volto Earley: Thats when I should be back
Cpt. Volto Earley: I'm leaving tommarrow by the way
Brg. Ari Saberlin: And?
Cpt. Volto Earley: And you can have all the gay sex you want with out fear of my dissaproval
Cpt. Volto Earley: I was expecting you to be happy
Cpt. Volto Earley: xD
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Here.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: How about you take this cheese stick.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: And shove it up your ass.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Slowly.
Cpt. Volto Earley: Would you like pictures or Video?
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Not for me.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: For Frank obviously.
Cpt. Volto Earley: LOL
Cpt. Volto Earley: Posted
Cpt. Volto Earley: Again

[Mr. Gestapo]

You are both fucking faggots and I don't know why I even talk to you.

[Director Ari Saberlin]

You are both fucking faggots and I don't know why I even talk to you.

Because without us, you're NOTHING.

[Mr. Gestapo]

Cpt. Volto Earley: But in Act 2
Cpt. Volto Earley: I get like the two
Cpt. Volto Earley: town*
Cpt. Volto Earley: ect
Cpt. Volto Earley: Its very fun
Cpt. Volto Earley: And
Mr. Gestapo: uh oh hold on
Cpt. Volto Earley: I'll admit, some of it is making me shit my pants
Mr. Gestapo: not buying it because you play as black guy
Mr. Gestapo: sorry
Cpt. Volto Earley: LOL

[Director Ari Saberlin]

Nipah: dem faggots
Nipah: they be everywhere
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Yeah.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Look in the mirror and you'll see one.
Nipah: tried
Nipah: didn't see anything
Nipah: some faggot smeared shit all over it
Brg. Ari Saberlin: It was probably Volto.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: Actually no.
Brg. Ari Saberlin: It was definitely Volto.
Nipah: but it had a name written on it
Nipah: D:
Nipah: name was
Nipah: FRANK WELLINGTON MD ANALRAPIST

And when I told Frank about the above chat:

Mr. Gestapo: that applies to everyone in this group
Mr. Gestapo: don't flatter yourself

[Nipah]

Frank: Fuck, im running low on HP.
Frank: and the only thing i can do...
Frank: is to drink my own piss.

[Mr. Gestapo]

Now, this is something I've never done before.

[Cpt. Volto]

In BG:

Cpt. Volto suicided.
Nipah: I KILLED VOLTO WITH MY MIND
Nipah: YES

[Mr. Gestapo]

[Cpt. Volto]

Nipah: i hate to bug you Volto
Nipah: but did you get it to work?
Nipah:
Cpt. Volto: WHATY THE FUCK BRO?
Cpt. Volto: IM IN NEW FUCKING VWEGAS
Nipah: BRO IM SORRY
Cpt. Volto: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNO
Cpt. Volto: NO
Nipah: SO SOORRRRYYYY
Cpt. Volto: REMOVI?NG YOU
Cpt. Volto: NOW
Nipah: KILLLL THOSE RAD SHIT
Cpt. Volto: FUCK YOU
Nipah: OMG
Nipah: NOOOO
Nipah: I JUST WANT TO PLAY GAMES
Nipah: AND BE ON YOU FRIEND'S LIST
Nipah: LIKE OLD TIMES
Nipah: Q.Q
Nipah get pellet gun
Nipah: IT MUST BE DONES
Nipah: OH NOES
Nipah is now Offline.

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